Never The Twain Shall Meet
By the time my fiancé and I got married we had been engaged for a year, together for more than two, and I had been working in the wedding industry at a full service venue for 4 years.
I feel like we had a pretty average length for an engagement, and plenty of time to plan. I didn’t really struggle with choosing vendors, or who would be in my bridal party but one thing that did plague me was comparison.
I can remember a girl from one of my college literature classes sending me an invite to Pinterest (Remember when it was invite only?!) and spending countless hours scrolling through every delicious recipe, perfectly coiffed hairstyle, and jaw dropping décor inspo. Once engaged, the focus turned to wedding style, dresses, tuxes, flowers, colors, themes, seasons, favors, textures, and on and on it goes.
I’m pretty sure I pinned every bouquet from boho to southern living to Rachel Ruysch inspired. As themes would trend, I found myself pulled to each new perfectly posed inspo photo and color scheme, whether or not it was my style. Even having been in the industry for years, I found myself struggling to light on what I wanted my wedding to look and feel like. Maybe even because I was in the industry I was fighting the urge to fall into a scheme that would, in hindsight, be trendy and dated.
With the incredible guidance of my mentor and family we finally decided on a very soft, open palette with a very English garden kind of vibe and woodland accents. It fit our personality, our love of nature, my love for flowers, and my indecisiveness as to what my favorite color is.
For the next few months, I worked at the venue as an assistant to the floral designer, helping to create each bride’s dream wedding, pulling together details for my own wedding along the way.
About a month before our wedding, there was a couple getting married in the same church my fiancé and I were, with reception to follow at the same venue. Their colors were classic, the style elegant, a perfect design and absolutely lovely floral choices. At the very last moment I found myself questioning my own wedding design, and if what I had chosen was right, or good enough, or in style and all those other silly doubts.
I didn’t really want to talk to anyone about it, so I talked to my dad. He can be a man of few words, one of his favorite phrases being “let me think about that”, which often buys enough time for the question to resolve itself without him actually having to answer. Just needing an ear to listen, I went to him and wound up being shocked by his reply.
He listened. Chuckled a little bit and said:
“Never the twain shall meet”
Every million-dollar wedding in a magazine, perfectly curated editorial styled shoot, and darling elopement in an enchanted forest is its own wonderful moment. But so is your wedding. And in that moment, surrounded by everyone you love, with THE ONE you love, it won’t matter what anyone else is doing. When you find yourself in that moment with the one person you know you want to spend the rest of your life with, promising to do so forever, whatever is there will be perfect. Let the day be a reflection of your love, of the life you’re beginning.
There will always be other perfect weddings. Just remember yours is perfect too.